January 2010
mstrs-dogsbody:
Brain Damage // Pink Floyd
Mom: can any one of you grow up to be rich and buy me a beach house?
Me: I will!
Alyssa: oh what a joke. Doing what?
Me: you're husband.
My dog, the dog that runs away from a spider, the dog that cries when he sees my birds, the dog that hides from the pizza dude, killed a squirrel today. It reminds me that there is no good and evil, just pure instinct.
“I had a dream last night where I was a famous actress who kept peeing in plastic...”
gridlockcaravans:
icallbullshitonthat:
...
“So…does this mean you’re a lesbian?”
– Mom
My dad has an unhealthy obsession with these paranormal activity shows.
I can’t figure out why, but the word “chocolate” makes me cringe. I just find it to be one of the most grotesque sounding words.
I’ve decided that when or if I were to ever be reincarnated, I’d like to come back as a Solo cup flinging, cooch cut dress wearing, completely emotionless, bleach highlighted teenage blonde with small boobs.
violent femmes
SpeaK
“GIRL, you be drinkin’ on dat hate-orade.”
– Alyssa